Friday, November 21

I'm wasting time away ...

HOO!

so, did nothing today,
was supposed to follow cousin to the asian conference thingy again.

but after what i experienced on wednesday,
i have my doubts about going again today.

it was crowded,
we didnt have any seats,
and the whole talk was about chrisitianity.
i've already lost so much faith and i went there to get christianity out of me instead of planting seeds and helping me know more about jesus.

but anyways, going to turi beach batam in like 2 more days.
and i've been thinking if i were to die, how i'd like to die.
strange and saddistic you may say, but it just what i want to happen to me if i were to die.


First way of dying.
if i may go away,
let it be by the sinking of the ferry i took,
the lifejackets would be useless as it has all been taken up.
so may i drown in the sea and never be washed ashore.

Second way of dying.
If i survived the shipwreck,
may my way to the resort be a troublesome one.
on the way, we would get robbed and hijacked and we would be deserted with nothing.
then slowly i'll start to die a slow, hungry and thirsty death.

third and final way.
to be blown to smitherines if there would be a similar occurance of the bali bombings or whatever.
not that i'm supporting terrorist, but thats how i'd like to die.




"girl, you made me so happy.
when i talked to you,
time seemed to have stopped,
and we would be the only two souls that dont age.
we would be young forever,
like two lovebirds in a timeless cage,
we'd expect happiness,
but it just had to end,
bitterness crawls in,
engulfing me in anger and hate,
this wasnt the way i'd expected it to turn out.
tell me, how long more must i wait,
your heart is locked,
but i have the key,
but when will it open and let us be?"


gosh, i dont even know why i typed that.
just wanted something up i guess,
something poetric and depressing ?
maybe ..


urgh, amanda lai .
you were "confused"
and right now, at this very moment .
so am i .
bleh, youcutegirl,
:]

Gordon at 10:12:00 PM